Flashback to 30th July. My twinnie, Jamie in New York, found out she was pregnant. A bit of context before I continue – we found each other on Kindara back in December 2015 when I first started TTC and joined the app. She was one of my first followers, but she was slightly ahead of … More My twinnie is pregnant
Well, it’s as the title says really. And the nature of WHY my week has been tough means I can’t go into detail about it, unfortunately, because I’d like to get a lot of shit off my chest but I can’t. So all I’ll say is, this week has been the toughest one of my … More The toughest week yet
You’re alive! We saw your little heart thumping away furiously inside me today! And oh my god that is a moment me and your daddy will never forget for as long as we’re alive. Yesterday I really couldn’t relax. I was tearful and anxious. I had psyched myself up to expect to not see your … More Dear Cub
This is what my mum told me after I texted her in tears this morning because of my overwhelming anxiety about tomorrow’s scan. In 24 hours, we will have either seen Cub’s little heartbeat thumping away, or we’ll be lost in an ocean of grief. I am absolutely paralysed with fear that it will be … More Don’t trouble trouble til trouble troubles you
So I’ve had a lovely morning today, although it didn’t start too great. I woke up at 3am wailing and crying after a nightmare about having a miscarriage. All I remember is going to the toilet, wiping and seeing blood, and collapsing and crying. It was horrific. I woke up feeling so upset, but after … More Mothercare, Mamas & Papas, and miscarriage nightmares…
Exactly a year ago today, at exactly this time, I was laid in the bath and started up this blog. It was intended to be an outlet. A place where I could jot down my thoughts and funny sexscapades without spamming K Squad and annoying those people who didn’t want to read about them all … More Happy 1st birthday to my blog!
Today is the first time since I found out I was pregnant that I’ve NOT peed on a stick. It was hard. I have 14 tests sitting on top of the bathroom drawer tower. Dave and I stare at them (separately) every day. Each stick is a reminder that we have a baby in my … More I don’t ‘feel’ pregnant today…