Exactly a year ago today, at exactly this time, I was laid in the bath and started up this blog.
It was intended to be an outlet. A place where I could jot down my thoughts and funny sexscapades without spamming K Squad and annoying those people who didn’t want to read about them all the time.
I thought I would maybe have a few people read it, but otherwise it would serve as an online diary that would probably get lost amongst the dozens of other infertility blogs out there.
As it happens, today my views reached over 75,000. That STILL staggers me. And what’s more amazing is that my blog has been viewed in 100 countries worldwide. There are only 195 countries in total as it is, so that is over 50% of them. It just gobsmacks me.
But what is truly overwhelming is the number of comments and private messages to me – on this blog, through email, Facebook, Instagram – from dozens of women who have reached out to say thank you. Who have kept me going when I wanted to give up. Who commiserated with me with each failed cycle. Who genuinely celebrated with me when I got those 2 longed-for pink lines.
I will always be humbled by your support, and I will never EVER forget it – thank you.
A lot has happened in a year.
Friends have got pregnant. Friends have miscarried. Somebody tried (and failed) to get me into trouble at work about this blog. The first anniversary of our chemical pregnancy passed. Dave’s mental health deteriorated in a truly life changing way. Trolls tried (and failed) to upset me with idiotic comments. The Huffington Post offered me an (unpaid) job as a blogger for them. Tests were carried out. Oceans of tears were shed.
And now we’re pregnant.
If I’m honest, I was dreading this blog’s birthday because I couldn’t face the idea that I wouldn’t be pregnant when it came around. Of course I wanted to be, and hoped to be, but I prepared myself that it wasn’t going to be.
It feels like serendipity that I’m able to celebrate this anniversary by being pregnant. It just had to be that way. I really hope it stays that way.
12 months ago I started this blog hoping that if I could help one woman feel like she’s not alone, then laying bare my vulnerability (and, at times, dignity!) would all be worth it.
It turns out I’ve helped hundreds of women (I can’t find a way of phrasing that without sounding arrogant, sorry). Yes, I’ve lost followers too since announcing my news, which I understand, but I sincerely hope that to anybody reading this who feels like giving up, DOESN’T.
Do not give up. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. You CAN do this. You WILL get pregnant. You WILL have your baby.
It’s all worth it. I promise you.
Ladies (and gents) – thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
I hope you will continue with me by my side, from infertility, through pregnancy, to motherhood.
Cub can’t wait to meet you all xxx