Happy 1st birthday to my blog!

Exactly a year ago today, at exactly this time, I was laid in the bath and started up this blog.

It was intended to be an outlet. A place where I could jot down my thoughts and funny sexscapades without spamming K Squad and annoying those people who didn’t want to read about them all the time.

I thought I would maybe have a few people read it, but otherwise it would serve as an online diary that would probably get lost amongst the dozens of other infertility blogs out there.

As it happens, today my views reached over 75,000. That STILL staggers me. And what’s more amazing is that my blog has been viewed in 100 countries worldwide. There are only 195 countries in total as it is, so that is over 50% of them. It just gobsmacks me.

But what is truly overwhelming is the number of comments and private messages to me – on this blog, through email, Facebook, Instagram – from dozens of women who have reached out to say thank you. Who have kept me going when I wanted to give up. Who commiserated with me with each failed cycle. Who genuinely celebrated with me when I got those 2 longed-for pink lines.

I will always be humbled by your support, and I will never EVER forget it – thank you.

A lot has happened in a year. 

Friends have got pregnant. Friends have miscarried. Somebody tried (and failed) to get me into trouble at work about this blog. The first anniversary of our chemical pregnancy passed. Dave’s mental health deteriorated in a truly life changing way. Trolls tried (and failed) to upset me with idiotic comments. The Huffington Post offered me an (unpaid) job as a blogger for them. Tests were carried out. Oceans of tears were shed.

And now we’re pregnant.

If I’m honest, I was dreading this blog’s birthday because I couldn’t face the idea that I wouldn’t be pregnant when it came around. Of course I wanted to be, and hoped to be, but I prepared myself that it wasn’t going to be. 

It feels like serendipity that I’m able to celebrate this anniversary by being pregnant. It just had to be that way. I really hope it stays that way.

12 months ago I started this blog hoping that if I could help one woman feel like she’s not alone, then laying bare my vulnerability (and, at times, dignity!) would all be worth it.

It turns out I’ve helped hundreds of women (I can’t find a way of phrasing that without sounding arrogant, sorry). Yes, I’ve lost followers too since announcing my news, which I understand, but I sincerely hope that to anybody reading this who feels like giving up, DOESN’T.

Do not give up. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. You CAN do this. You WILL get pregnant. You WILL have your baby. 

It’s all worth it. I promise you.

Ladies (and gents) – thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

I hope you will continue with me by my side, from infertility, through pregnancy, to motherhood.

Cub can’t wait to meet you all xxx

12 thoughts on “Happy 1st birthday to my blog!

  1. I cannot ever truly express how blessed I was to stumble across a post on Instagram of yours. It was a meme of all things. I then started at the beginning of your Instagram account. Then I went to the blog where I went to your first entry. I was hooked. How does this woman know how I am feeling. How badly I struggle to find the words, but you so poetically wrote them. You got me. You understood me.

    The day you posted those 2 lines, it was the truest and most sincere happiness I felt for another woman getting pregnant. No bitterness, no anger, no tears….just pure joy and bliss!!

    Thank you for taking that step a year ago and creating your blog. Thank you for allowing me and thousands of others to acknowledge the feelings we feel without regret. Thank you for being another voice for us to connect to!

    Dave and Cub sure have one determined, loving, caring, strong, empowered, smart, amazing and so much more of a woman, wife and mother!!


    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love your blog. I’m a fellow ksquad lady and haven’t had as much interaction with you but have always admired you and cheered you along from the sidelines . I’m so happy for you. You deserve this. You deserve to be this delieriously happy. I get so envious when I see your dark pregnancy line and I find myself thinking “I can do this. Don’t give up”. Between you and another ksquad friend I moved up my ivf consultation appointment. I need to get this show on the road. You are such a wonderful and supportive friend to everyone in that group and I’m so happy it’s your turn to get into the club. Please please save me a seat in there okay??? Promise?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your stories and blog posts have made me chuckle over the past 8 months I have followed your blog and Instagram account.
    They are all so sincere and I could really relate to you on a personal level.
    When you got your BFP it filled me with such joy and excitement on your behalf and I finally felt something I had been dismissing constantly and that feeling was HOPE, through you and your journey I have finally let all this negativity go and for the first time ever I have hope and that’s because of you.
    Thank you for all your honest posts and your humour, they have helped me even on my darkest days.
    I can’t wait to read more about this exciting new chapter in your life and I wish you, Dave and cub all the happiness in the world and I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more.

    Happy 1st blog birthday 🎉

    Charlotte (xxttcbabycxx) on Instagram.
    x x x x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so, so happy you get to celebrate your blog’s one year anniversary PREGNANT!! You have been through so much during that year. I hope the next year is just as eventful for you, but full of only good events!

    And now please keep your fingers crossed that I don’t get my period as my body’s gift to me on my 2-year anniversary of starting TTC (1st October).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I completely agree with Herkee about feeling true joy for you when you announced those two positive lines! I found you on WordPress right after you started your blog. I was sitting in a deli on my lunch break looking for blogs that could capture what I was feeling–having had a CP over a year earlier and dealing with that. You have always expressed yourself wonderfully and it has been awesome to be able to read your journey. You have said what most of us are thinking! Thank you for having the courage to put it all out there! I am so happy for you and you have helped give me hope! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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