… I’ve seen more of my guy mates this summer than I have of my girlfriends.
There’s one obvious reason why this is: all of my girlfriends have children and most of them don’t live in the same city as me anymore so meeting up takes more logistical effort than it used to. But this doesn’t mean I love them any less because I see them less often than I would like to, and whenever we do hook up it is always like we’ve never been apart. True friendship will always survive time and distance. And I’m very fortunate that I haven’t lost any friendships with the lovely women I have in my life.
But chatting with my visiting friend on (another) night out last night, it suddenly struck me what the second reason was:
My guy friends aren’t going to suddenly spring on me that they’re pregnant.
They’re not going to say “I have something to tell you” which is ALWAYS followed by the punch-in-the-stomach feeling.
They’re also not going to talk about periods, or mummy things or babies.
They’re going to talk about football.
They’re going to encourage you to get drunk.
They’re going to banter and take the piss.
They’re going to make you feel safe.
They’re going to make you temporarily forget that you’re a woman, and that being a woman can be a bit shit, and they won’t even realise how much you fucking love them for that.
I’m certainly not saying that I’m not choosing to see my female friends because they are mums. That’s definitely not what I’m implying at all.
But it dawned on me last night, that subconsciously I’m seeking out my male friends more and more these days to help me escape this shitty situation and make me laugh.
I’m incredibly fortunate for all the friends I have in my life. But I’m doubly fortunate that many of them are lads.
And my future kid will have a lot of pissed-up honourary uncles!