Have you ever been fine as a dandy one minute, then literally 3 minutes later you’re sobbing on your bed wondering how things can fuck up your mood so suddenly?
I went to get my 3rd set of blood tests done on Monday. I had to go to the clinic at the hospital because the phlebotomist only does tests on Wednesdays at my clinic. It meant I had to wait for over an hour and was literally in and out within 1 minute but I wasn’t that bothered. I’d done the tests before and it was just routine, although this time my AMH levels were being checked too (at my request).
I was told I’d get the results back on Tuesday so I rang that afternoon and they weren’t ready. I meant to ring back yesterday (Wednesday) but I completely forgot so I tried again this morning (Thursday). Yet again they still weren’t ready but was told to try again this afternoon. So I did.
Now I hate doing this. Every single time I feel like I’m having a panic attack. My heart is racing and my palms are sweaty waiting for them to pull my file up. I literally hold my breath. To then be told I was going to be put on hold, and wait for a good minute, for this receptionist to say she was going to get the doctor to ring me back.
Why do you need the doctor to ring me back? If my heart wasn’t already racing, if fucking was now.
The doctor who did ring me back wasn’t my normal one. Not the one who instigated these basic blood tests anyway. I’ve seen him before and not really liked him, and I particularly didn’t like him when Dave and I saw him back in April regarding his mental health. He was dismissive and unsympathetic and didn’t help Dave’s situation at all.
So of course I had high hopes for this guy (!)
He said that my progesterone was low. 13. I expected this because my cycle is fucked up this month and I haven’t been sure exactly when I ovulated (or even if I did) but there was a shift which indicated ovulation 11 days ago so when I got my tests done on Monday I was 7dpo (in theory) but that morning my temps dipped right down and have stayed there since. Whereas on my previous tests my blood was taken on a day when my temp was still high. So my LP this cycle is screwed. I wasn’t that bothered because I know that progesterone dips and peaks a lot throughout and as I’m clearly not pregnant this cycle and my period is on its way it would make sense that my progesterone is now low. But also this cycle has just been one big pile of steaming shit anyway so I’d rather draw a line under it and get retested next month. And besides, my previous 2 sets of results were normal so never mind about a temporary blip yeah?
But Dr Knobhead wasn’t inclined to agree with me.
Apparently my previous progesterone results were “borderline”.
I say again, WHAT?
They ‘like to see’ numbers higher than 30 to be normal, and mine were 30.
If that was so, then why the frigging fuck did a doctor not ring me months ago to explain that to me?!
THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE UNQUALIFIED RECEPTIONSISTS READING OUT RESULTS OVER THE PHONE AND SAYING THEY ARE NORMAL FFS!!!
Then I asked Dr Knobhead if he thought using progesterone cream in the meantime would be a good idea.
“Progesterone cream? What’s that? I’ve never heard of that. No I wouldn’t recommend doing that.”
You wouldn’t recommend doing something because you’ve never heard of it before, you mean?
I then quizzed Dr Knobhead on my AMH levels because I requested that to be tested too.
“Sorry what’s that?”
*enunciated slowly for Dr Knobhead to write it down* “A. M. H. Anti-mullerian hormone.”
“Oh I’m no sure. I’d have to google that.”
At this point I actually heard the twat tapping away on his keyboard whilst he waited for Dr Google to tell him how to do his job.
“Ah. Yes. No that’s not showing up here. I think this test takes longer so you’ll have to ring back for that. I’m not a fertility specialist so I can’t help you there.”
No fucking shit.
He then proceeded to remind me about Dave getting his sperm sample done and patronisingly told me I had to read the instructions carefully about when it should be done. I politely interjected and said that I knew the rules about the number of days abstinence beforehand and the time of day it had to be done because of when it gets sent off. Yeah, he ignored me anyway and carried on explaining that I had to read the instructions reaaalllly carefully.
Dr Knobhead finished with explaining I need to get ‘triple swabs’ from the nurse practitioner to check for infections and stuff and refer me to the hospital for a pelvic scan.
The tears were already pricking my eyes and the lump in my throats was choking me so I quickly thanked him (for what, I don’t know) and hung up.
All of this I know is necessary and important but I’m shit scared.
I feel like that I’m not ‘normal’ and that there could be something ‘wrong’ with me. That it’s going to be even harder than I thought. That we are officially going to have to have medical intervention to have a baby.
This journey has taken a scary turn that I didn’t ever want it to.