Things have changed in a way that I’ve never wanted them to.

Have you ever been fine as a dandy one minute, then literally 3 minutes later you’re sobbing on your bed wondering how things can fuck up your mood so suddenly?

I went to get my 3rd set of blood tests done on Monday. I had to go to the clinic at the hospital because the phlebotomist only does tests on Wednesdays at my clinic. It meant I had to wait for over an hour and was literally in and out within 1 minute but I wasn’t that bothered. I’d done the tests before and it was just routine, although this time my AMH levels were being checked too (at my request).

I was told I’d get the results back on Tuesday so I rang that afternoon and they weren’t ready. I meant to ring back yesterday (Wednesday) but I completely forgot so I tried again this morning (Thursday). Yet again they still weren’t ready but was told to try again this afternoon. So I did.

Now I hate doing this. Every single time I feel like I’m having a panic attack. My heart is racing and my palms are sweaty waiting for them to pull my file up. I literally hold my breath. To then be told I was going to be put on hold, and wait for a good minute, for this receptionist to say she was going to get the doctor to ring me back.


Why do you need the doctor to ring me back? If my heart wasn’t already racing, if fucking was now.

The doctor who did ring me back wasn’t my normal one. Not the one who instigated these basic blood tests anyway. I’ve seen him before and not really liked him, and I particularly didn’t like him when Dave and I saw him back in April regarding his mental health. He was dismissive and unsympathetic and didn’t help Dave’s situation at all.

So of course I had high hopes for this guy (!)
He said that my progesterone was low. 13. I expected this because my cycle is fucked up this month and I haven’t been sure exactly when I ovulated (or even if I did) but there was a shift which indicated ovulation 11 days ago so when I got my tests done on Monday I was 7dpo (in theory) but that morning my temps dipped right down and have stayed there since. Whereas on my previous tests my blood was taken on a day when my temp was still high. So my LP this cycle is screwed. I wasn’t that bothered because I know that progesterone dips and peaks a lot throughout and as I’m clearly not pregnant this cycle and my period is on its way it would make sense that my progesterone is now low. But also this cycle has just been one big pile of steaming shit anyway so I’d rather draw a line under it and get retested next month. And besides, my previous 2 sets of results were normal so never mind about a temporary blip yeah?

But Dr Knobhead wasn’t inclined to agree with me.

Apparently my previous progesterone results were “borderline”.

I say again, WHAT?

They ‘like to see’ numbers higher than 30 to be normal, and mine were 30.

If that was so, then why the frigging fuck did a doctor not ring me months ago to explain that to me?!


Then I asked Dr Knobhead if he thought using progesterone cream in the meantime would be a good idea.

“Progesterone cream? What’s that? I’ve never heard of that. No I wouldn’t recommend doing that.”

You wouldn’t recommend doing something because you’ve never heard of it before, you mean?

I then quizzed Dr Knobhead on my AMH levels because I requested that to be tested too.

“Sorry what’s that?”

*enunciated slowly for Dr Knobhead to write it down* “A. M. H. Anti-mullerian hormone.”

“Oh I’m no sure. I’d have to google that.”


At this point I actually heard the twat tapping away on his keyboard whilst he waited for Dr Google to tell him how to do his job.

“Ah. Yes. No that’s not showing up here. I think this test takes longer so you’ll have to ring back for that. I’m not a fertility specialist so I can’t help you there.”

No fucking shit.

He then proceeded to remind me about Dave getting his sperm sample done and patronisingly told me I had to read the instructions carefully about when it should be done. I politely interjected and said that I knew the rules about the number of days abstinence beforehand and the time of day it had to be done because of when it gets sent off. Yeah, he ignored me anyway and carried on explaining that I had to read the instructions reaaalllly carefully.

Dr Knobhead finished with explaining I need to get ‘triple swabs’ from the nurse practitioner to check for infections and stuff and refer me to the hospital for a pelvic scan.

The tears were already pricking my eyes and the lump in my throats was choking me so I quickly thanked him (for what, I don’t know) and hung up.

All of this I know is necessary and important but I’m shit scared.

I feel like that I’m not ‘normal’ and that there could be something ‘wrong’ with me. That it’s going to be even harder than I thought. That we are officially going to have to have medical intervention to have a baby.

This journey has taken a scary turn that I didn’t ever want it to.

9 thoughts on “Things have changed in a way that I’ve never wanted them to.

  1. Hello Lovely…..

    I personally have encountered my fair share of Dr. Knobhead’s and have felt the exact way you have felt. I have left the offices in tears and wanted to turn around and go back in and yell a big “Fuck You”…but I never did. Dr. Knobhead is the type of physician that everyone dreads. Horrible bedside manner, clueless in what he’s reading and well….RUDE. A real caring physician dealing with women going through what you are understanding and show some compassion. It’s not the easiest rollercoaster.

    I would suggest you call and ask to speak to your regular physician and if not available have them call you back. Explain what happened and simply state, you won’t be dealing with Knobhead in the future. Let your regular doctor talk to you about the test and levels as they know your history and background. Ask you questions about progesterone cream (I have used it) and if it’s needed. Go with your instincts and request your regular physician. Don’t let Dr. Twatwaffle get you down!!

    I wish I could give you a big hug as I know what you are feeling and thinking. Keep your head up, and I encourage you to speak with someone who knows what the fuck they are doing!



    Liked by 1 person

  2. 30 + is definite ovulation and 20-29 is borderline. If you’re charting and get a clear temp shift along with a Progesterone of 30 then I would say you 100% ovulated & its perfectly normal to have an anovulatory cycle every now and again so this month’s results are nothing to worry about as a one off

    Try not to let Dr Knobhead upset you, he clearly knows fuck all about fertility, I’d bet we TTC-ers all know more than he does! Not even knowing what AMH stands for is shocking!

    I totally understand the panic when waiting for the results though, I nearly had a heart attack waiting for my CD3 FSH results last month!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. First of all, Dr. Knobhead needs to not be allowed to deal with patients ever again. Second, progesterone of 30 is fine. I think the cut-off of 30 is a UK thing anyway – elsewhere I have read anything above 25 at 7dpo indicates ovulation. And if Dr Knobhead has never even heard of progesterone cream I doubt he knows what he’s talking about anyway! Also, even if 30 is “borderline”, at least you will have something to work with… I would LOVE to have low progesterone. If I had low progesterone, I could have started on a progesterone supplement in December and would likely be in my third trimester by now!

    My doctor always has to call me back when I phone for my results, or I get transferred to him if he’s available. Every single time. The receptionist isn’t allowed to tell me my results – it has to be the doctor so he can explain properly. The first time I was worried but now I know it’s standard procedure.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hun I’m sorry to read this!! I will email you as you suggested on your last post…I was told my 28 score was borderline and when I went over 30, this definitely confirmed ovulation. The specialist also said this. In my experience GPs are general practitioners for a reason!!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Must be knobhead week in the fertility world. Received a phone call last Thursday:
    Receptionist: oh hello, your semen analysis showed some anomalies. Can you accept a telephone call from Dr x next Tuesday?
    Me: uh… wha…? Ok…
    *5 days and considerable angst later.
    Dr.X: your semen analysis had some anomalies which could affect motility, which could explain some of your difficulties… we suggest a course of antibiotics and another analysis in three months time.
    Me: (under my breath) Jesus f****** ) um I’ll stop you there. You do know that this is my third analysis in three years and that I’d have hoped that this would have been flagged up before?
    Dr.X: oooh what was the result of them?
    Me: um, well, as you were the one who referred me to them and then gave me the results, I’d hope you could tell me, but at the time you said they were both fine.
    Dr.X: so there were no issues?
    Me: not as far as you yourself told me!

    Not a happy bunny.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. When my OB suggested a progesterone supplement I said “oh the cream?” He said don’t bother with that it isn’t very strong and not directed to the right area properly, apparently. So I ended up on pessaries twice daily right up The Who Ha.
    But by the sounds of it, your current cycle is whack and previous progesterone was perfect! I agree wait a cycle and go again for the tests and avoid dr knobhead like the plague!!! Or give him a piece of your mind / make a complaint! I got one of the GPs at my clinic in trouble, I dobbed on her when she prescribed me a dangerous blood clot medication. All the other GPs were dumbfounded by her decision.


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