I am a thong girl. Not a cheese grater type G string (unless it’s sexy time 😉) but a standard thong. I’ve been wearing them since I was 17 or 18 so a good 13 years now. Big pants only come out when it’s my time of the month. Dave knows when the big pants come out, my nether regions are out of bounds for 3-4 days…
I am also a sanitary towel girl, not a tampon girl. Again, I’ve used them since I started my period when I was 12 or 13 so that’s nearly 20 years. I’ve never got to grips with tampons.
Now today, I was wearing a thong, it was CD29 and I wasn’t expecting my period.
BUT I GOT MY PERIOD.
I started feeling intense lower back cramping when I arrived at work around 7am. I dismissed it as an upset stomach and was prepared to pop some pills and hope it went away. But as the morning wore on, the pain and discomfort felt more suspiciously like period cramps.
I told myself I would be fine. I’d come on tomorrow. It had been a few months since I’d had a 28-day cycle and I’m sure this cycle was going to be a 30-dayer, minimum. Yes my temp dropped this morning, but that always happens the day BEFORE my period arrives, or at least it comes much later in the day/night.
But when my class went out to play and I went to the toilet and saw the blood, I was like “SHIT”.
Now all schools have a stash of sanitary towels in case the older girls come on for the first time when they are at school. BUT THEY DON’T HAVE AN EMERGENCY STASH OF GROWN WOMAN PANTS. Sure, they have age 10-11 ones but there was no way I was even going to attempt to squeeze my arse into a pair of those! I know I’ve lost 3 stone but I’d be lucky if I’d pulled them up higher than my knees!
So I grabbed a sanitary towel from the cupboard and had no choice but to wear this thick pad over my teeny-tiny thong. It was horrendous. I was wearing fitted navy trousers and a short top that didn’t cover my bum. I also had no coat because it was a nice day. I felt so self-conscious. Every time I moved I was worried about leaking. As I left the toilet it felt like I’d rolled up a nappy and shoved it between my legs. I already wanted to go home and it was only just half past ten!
I spent the whole day counting down the hours to when I could leave and uncross my legs, unclench my pelvic floor muscles and put a proper pair of pants on and my own high-quality Bodyform product and not a budget supermarket branded one…
I’ve often told myself throughout my whole career – “I really should keep spare clothes in my car just in case a child is sick on me / paint gets splattered on me / my trousers rip etc.”
Well, as of tomorrow, I will always ensure there is a pair of Back-Up Big Pants with me at all times from now on.
(Aged 31. Not 10-11 😂)