Did you miss me?
When I posted my last entry last Sunday, I wasn’t sure when it would be until I could blog again. I didn’t want to just go AWOL and people jump to conclusions that I was pregnant, so I thought it was best to announce my temporary hiatus. As it happens, our personal circumstances have drastically improved (thank god) so I feel in a better position to blog again.
Out of respect to my husband, I’m not going to reveal what happened in our lives last weekend. I know that sounds contradictory because I have no filter when it comes to sharing our sex life, but there are some things best kept private. And there are times when you have to put your own life on hold to be the wife to your husband that you promised you would be when you exchanged marriage vows. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 7-10 days.
I would, however, like to thank every single person who sent their best wishes and support to me through various platforms during this time. It didn’t go unappreciated.
So. Putting that aside, here’s a little update for you all.
Last weekend I ovulated early. MUCH earlier than I expected or ever have ovulated before. I ovulated on CD15 and got my temp spike the next day. Considering the extreme stress I was under during that time, if anything I was expecting to ovulate later than normal. Not so. Therefore I 100% put this down to the reflexology appointments I have had. And it was the strongest ovulation I have ever had. My temps since then have also been the most consistent and beautiful I have ever had.
So this puts me at 9dpo today.
And I COULD be pregnant.
The chance is very slim though. We only got one heart in 3 days before ovulation. We were supposed to be doing it a few times more over last weekend but obviously tha didn’t happen. I can only remember 2 things about that single session we got in: it was a Wednesday night and we were both dog tired, and it was a MASSIVE load from Dave. I believe he hadn’t ejaculaed for about a week before then, so one of my concerns is that there could have been a lot of dead sperm being released. But then it only takes one healthy strong one doesn’t it?
My chart is very pretty… And whilst I’m trying not to symptom spot, it’s hard not to. I got a very defined possible implantation dip on 7dpo. I also had bad cramps that day. In fact, I’ve felt cramping on and off for the past few days. My temps have since shot back up. My boobs are sore and aching with the odd shooting pain through them, but that is standard for me in the TWW. My LPs from the past 5-6 cycles have been 8-10 days long, so with tomorrow being 10dpo I’ll be interested to see if my temp stays high or drops like is normal for me. My CM has also been extremely milky and creamy. Normally I dry up a fair bit after I’ve ovulated until my period.
I also checked my cervix yesterday. I’ve felt it before after my period so I have a comparison point (it was low, soft and open). Well the day before yesterday I could just about feel it and it was very tightly closed and hard, like the tip of my nose. Yesterday, it was so high, I couldn’t even reach it. Of course, Google tells me this means I’m pregnant.
The tests say no though. Granted, I’ve been using internet cheapies and it is far too early. I may crack open a FRER tomorrow though, depending on my temp.
But of course, you’ll remember that I had an appointment scheduled for this Wednesday afternoon for blood tests. Or ‘primary infertility’ tests as the sticker said. Ugh. Well I’ve since cancelled that appointment because it would have been far too late in my cycle for them to ascertain anything. If I’m not pregnant, I’ll have my period by Wednesday.
So instead, I had somebody I know very kindly come to my house on Friday (6dpo) to take 3 vials of blood and dropped them off at the hospital for me. She said I should be able to ring my doctors for the results tomorrow.
I’m shitting myself.
I’m trying to tell myself that based on my chart this cycle, everything looks great. So I just need to keep the faith. They’re testing full blood count, FSH & LH, HbA1c, progesterone, sex hormone binding glob, testosterone, TSH (thyroid), and DHEA. I’ll let you know the results tomorrow…
And as for last night, Dave wanted to get back into the swing of things again after our recent turmoil.
Normally, his sexy talk is “I can’t wait to smash the life out of you.” Yesterday, he said “I want to make love to my wife.”
I was up for this. I needed to reconnect with my husband again, enjoy sex without ‘making a baby’ and unwind with a decent orgasm. It had been a while…
Well, it didn’t happen.
We’re going to a fancy dress party for one of his mate’s 30th birthday next Saturday. I’m going as Britney Spears. I ordered online a slutty short skirt, tight white shirt and tights that look like I’m wearing over the knee socks. When it all arrived yesterday I put it on (complete with black bra and undid the buttons to show off the full effect off my cleavage), and revealed it to Dave.
He was trying to piss at the time. Let’s just say his eyes were on stalks, the first word he said was “WOW” and he didn’t think it was a good idea for him to be looking at me dressed like that when he needed his dick to be pointing down into the toilet. Haha.
Self-confidence level: OFF. THE. SCALE.
Well. It turns out that some of his mates are going as the Spice Girls (because it’s a 90s theme) so I suggested he went as Posh Spice and wear one of my dresses.
This sounded like a good idea at the time. When he came to bed, I convinced him to try on my dress and I helped him to get into it. The panelling made him look like he had womanly hips. Things escalated further when we shoved socks down his front for tits. It really went downhill when Dave rubbed his hands over himself and talked about shaving his legs.
Sex was off the cards from that point. It was too… lesbian.
I did take some pictures of him and messaged them to his mate for a laugh.
Dave took his revenge by repeatedly farting the most putrid and disgusting smells EVER, and trapping me in his arms under the duvet so I couldn’t escape.
Yep. Normal service has most definitely been resumed.