I’ll keep this brief seeing as you’re all dying to know.
Dave gets home from work, absolutely knackered.
I talk about how my appointment went and then, as he’s putting his bag down and stripping off in the kitchen, I drop the bombshell.
Me: And, yeah, you’ll need to wank into a cup one Wednesday so it can be sent off for lab work that day.
Dave stops dead, his eyebrows raised.
Me: You good with that?
Dave: Well Wednesday works because I work on my own that day so I can do it, drop if off and go to work after.
Me: So you think you’ll be alright with that?
Dave: It’s wanking. Into a CUP.
Me: Will you want help?
Dave: I think I can manage milking myself thank you.
Me: What will you think of?
Dave: Your mum, probably.
And that, ladies and gents, is my husband.