Clearing out the shit… through my feet.

So apparently you can learn a lot about your organs and inner workings through a strange and random woman manhandling your sweaty feet and poking and pulling them until you say it hurts.

Who knew?

What I have just described in layman’s terms is reflexology. Fortunately I don’t have a problem with my feet being touched by someone else (interestingly I can’t stand my feet being touched by other feet though) so I went with an open mind and if nothing else, I was going to get a foot massage.

What I did get, however, was an educational and indulgent 30 minutes of possible diagnoses.

For those that haven’t experienced reflexology before (and I recommend you do) it involves the reflexologist pressing on parts of your feet to feel for blockages. All your nerve endings finish in your feet, so naturally there is a lot of shit and blockages clogged up down there. Each toe and part of your foot corresponds to a particular part of your body e.g. large intestine, small intenstine, lymphatic system, back, womb, ovaries, sinuses etc. The lady rubbed her thumbs and fingers in a particular way and if I had any discomfort (what I would describe as ‘cracking’ or ‘popping’) then that indicated an issue. 

The problem is I have a high pain threshold and enjoy people being firm with my feet so I wasn’t sure how sensitive I was going to be to this lady’s touch.

Turns out, I knew exactly what she meant. When she hit a bit that was uncomfortable it kind of made me wince or recoil. It wasn’t painful, but noticeable. This happened when she hit my large intestine nerve (I have IBS), back/shoulder/neck nerves (I get dreadful backache and cricky shoulders and neck) and a little bit on my sinuses (I’m at the tail end of a cold and my ears are still bunged as hell). So her identification of current known issues was spot on. There was no issue with anything else.

Except my ovaries.

Apparently they are stubborn little bitches that are both competing to ovulate. It seems my right side wins out most of the time but my left side ignores that and tries anyway. This makes sense as I sometimes notice I feel ovulation pains on both sides which confuses me as to which side I’ve ovulated from. It’s only from throbbing or aching a couple of days after ovulation that I can generally work out which side won. It also explains why sometimes I get the temp drop and EWCM for ovulation around days 14-17 but it doesn’t actually happen until day 20 when my body tries again and then I finally get my spike. I wonder if my left side tries but my right side ends up doing the job.

The reflexologist said that my pituitary gland is confusing my ovaries. And then of course my ovaries aren’t cooperating because they ignore each other and both try to do their own thing. Sounds like me. Even competing with myself! She even said my left ovary was giving signs of trying to ovulate now which is far too early. But obviously the little cow is trying to beat the right ovary isn’t she? Can’t stand losing, it seems… So when I go back in just over 2 weeks’ time (around ovulation) she’s hoping to see that my left side IS ovulating and my right side is keeping quiet because that was the side I olvulated from last cycle. Again, I agree with that determination because I felt all the ovulation signs from my right side last cycle. So left ovary… just do your thing please!

She could work all this out because of my responses to when she rubbed my big toes, and pressed on the side of my feet just below my ankle. That was the most uncomfortable part and that links to my ovaries. So she worked her magic, cleared out the blockages and knots, and hopefully the pathways have been cleared for the right messages to get to my ovaries.

What was reassuring was that nothing massively wrong was obvious to her. She picked up on my hormone issue which she can help rebalance (combined with my weight loss) and there was no indication of PCOS or anything like that. What she discovered was easily fixable she said. She also recommended having regular full body massages. I love a massage and I don’t really need any encouragement to have one of those! I always have spa treatments for my birthday so I might try to make a massage a regular indulgence to clear out the toxins.

I felt the effects immediately. As the treatment drew to a close I started to get a headache, which is normal after any kind of massage because of the toxins leaving your body. So I’ve been trying to drink more water tonight to flush them out. Actually I’ve been instructed to try and drink more water between now and my next session. She’s also recommended I take evening primrose oil tablets so I’ll be heading to Boots this week to take advice on the dosage.

And then when I stood up to leave I got sharp pains in my uterus and vag area. Apparently this was all a good sign that I was responding to the treatment immediately and how in tune I am with my body.

So all in all, a lot of shit left me through my feet tonight. And I can tell I’m going to sleep like a log. I can definitely get used to this. 30 minutes of relaxing, encouraging and reassuring indulgence.

Now if my ovaries can just stop behaving like stubborn little shits who can’t get along then that’d be just grand.


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