Looking for the sparkle amongst the shit.

Update: I’m NOT pregnant.

Sorry guys, I realise that going AWOL during my TWW isn’t the best idea. I’ve even had a couple of people speculate because of my radio silence.

But unfortunately today is CD 4 of cycle 15.

However, I’m looking for the sparkle amongst the shit.

Cycle 14 was my best one yet. It was 29 days. I had the strongest ovulation yet. I had the perfect looking temp pattern. In fact everybody who saw my chart was convinced I must be pregnant. But alas, the crazy mood swings and complete utter exhaustion were indicators of… nothing.

It was the best and worst TWW I’ve ever experienced. And because I was riding a new high and a new low every day I was going through a bit of a mind fuck. I couldn’t even bring myself to blog about it. I just felt weird.

Then AF came. And boy did I know she’d shown her unwelcome face. The cramps were also the worst I’d experienced. And it’s shit going through that when you’re at work. But (again, looking for the sparkle amongst the shit here) my period has been lovely and heavy. I really feel my womb is clearing out a load of crap to make way for my best cycle yet.

The cycle where I get pregnant.

And in other news, I lost 4.5lbs this past week. I did gain 1.5lb the week before (shhhhh!) so Dave says technically it was only a 3lb loss (fuck off Dave) but that brings my total loss in 9 weeks to 1 stone 12.5lbs (or 26.5lbs/12kg to the Yanks reading). The less belly fat and lower levels of oestrogen must be having a positive effect.

And finally, I’m seeing a reflexologist tomorrow on the recommendation of a colleague. This lady has apparently got 14 women pregnant who were told they couldn’t have kids naturally. Now, I don’t understand how pressing parts of your feet can balance your inner chakra and allegedly improve your fertility but I’m game for anything. If only for the stress relief and foot massage. So I’ll report back tomorrow on how that goes.

So there’ll be no baby in November. Another birthday passes this month with me not being pregnant. The anniversary of my chemical pregnancy will have no silver lining.

But I can get drunk on my birthday in 10 days time.

Shit. Sparkle.

15 thoughts on “Looking for the sparkle amongst the shit.

  1. I had reflexology a few days before I knew I would ovulate and I got pregnant on that cycle. Try and have a few sessions between now and your next ovulation. X

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry to hear this news. 😦 I can definitely relate. With any chance of pregnancy, I swear that my body acts different and creates a belief—a hope. Sure, it could be placebo effect, but if so, that shit is powerful (thanks, mind). Loved that you referenced period, lovely, and heavy all in one sentence of sparkle. Oh how things change in life, eh?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My great aunt used to do reflexology (like be the one actually providing the massage). I really don’t understand it but she swears by it. I hope it helps you!

    My gynaecologist recommended I try Shiatsu but I can’t stand the thought of a stranger touching me, and anyway my boyfriend doesn’t believe in homoeopathic woo-woo stuff and since he would have to pay it’s out of the question.


  4. Ooooh I’ve been meaning to stop by and read your blog…..The best of luck! I’ve been through a ttc journey myself before so if you even need any advice on the unsuccessful side of it all, I’m your gal! X

    Liked by 1 person

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