Celebrities and TTC

Janet Jackson becoming a first time mum at 50 with IVF, Beyoncé being pregnant with twins, George and Amal Clooney expecting twins, Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Fernandez-Verisini not announcing her pregnancy officially but causing speculation for months… Even Jennifer Anniston and the endless (undeserved) is she/isn’t she debate.

I really feel sorry for these ladies. To have something so private and personal to be gossiped about behind their backs, on a global platform, when at the end of the day, their pregnancies (or speculation over whether they were even pregnant) is nobody else’s fucking business but their own! 

Yes, they are famous. But for their work. Not for their alleged pregnancies. They never asked to have their private lives discussed and splashed all over news platforms. Who WOULD choose that? They have a right to privacy, just like you or I. And the media and general public have the responsibility to think before they publish, or gossip, or write about people.

It makes me mad that people think they have an automatic right to abuse that. How would they like it? If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of gossip and whispering then you’ll know where I’m coming from. And if you haven’t, then be grateful for that. It’s shit. 

Who are we to judge Janet Jackson for starting a family so late in her life? I empathise with the putting your career first thing, then time slipping away and you worry you’ve left it too late. I’ve been with Dave for over 10 years. I’ve always said he would have had children after only a few months if he had his way. It’s been ME holding off, putting my career first. We live in an age where women can do that now. We have choices. We have options. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Who are we to comment on Beyonce and Amal and their having of twins? Who knows if they have experienced trouble conceiving? If they went through fertility treatment to achieve their double blessings? And even if they didn’t, even if they were natural conceptions, who the hell cares?! It’s a deeply personal and difficult journey. They have my full sympathy and understanding if that is the case. But can you imagine being on the receiving end? Can you imagine THE WHOLE WORLD discussing your sex life and your ability (or lack of) to conceive? Horrific.

Who are we to harass and gossip and speculate over Cheryl for months and months and months? In fact, I’m sure speculation that she was pregnant began way before than she actually would have been. How do we know that during that time she could have suffered a miscarriage? Or trouble conceiving? And then have the media write about her weekly, reminding her of that. Or criticising her because she hasn’t made a public announcement or commented on the rumours. Why the fuck should she? It’s her business! I applaud you Cheryl.

And who are we to speculate on Jennifer Anniston? A woman who is almost a pariah for getting to nearly 50 and not being a mother. So what? Again, how do we know that she HASN’T been pregnant before, and just hasn’t publicly commented on it? How do we know she isn’t desperate for children but hasn’t been able to conceive? And what if she is quite simply happy NOT to have children? Again, her business, her life, her right to privacy. And if she’s enjoyed a hearty meal and sporting a bit of a belly, fucking good for her! But don’t take pictures of her, splash them all over the news, and fuel the speculation that she’s pregnant again. She might have been on her period at the time and devastated that another cycle didn’t work out. Yet the whole world is announcing she MUST be pregnant because of a small bump. Fuck off world. You insensitive pricks.

My blog is anonymous. If I wanted the whole world to know who I was I would put my name and picture on here. I don’t because I have a legal right to privacy. I want to spread the word of the realities of trying to conceive, reach out to offer support to others, and break this stupid taboo that surrounds infertility. But I don’t need to make my identity public to do that. I CHOOSE not to. I CHOOSE who knows that I write this blog. I CHOOSE who to let in to my personal struggle. Like celebrities have the right to CHOOSE. When that choice, that right, is taken away, that is abuse.

My friends know I write this blog, and although I have asked them not to name me publicly on my blog’s social media platforms, I can’t gag their right to freedom of speech. They could talk about me and my blog in the supermarket, in the park, in the pub, in the hairdressers. I want them to do that as they are spreading awareness wider and could be helping countless women in the process by informing them of my blog. But my right to be kept anonymous publicly still stands. And they don’t abuse that.

I’m hypocritical in the sense that I still buy these trashy magazines that fuel the obsession and desire for celebrity. But I skip those pages that are about a person’s personal life. If I read or overhear something about someone else, I have the integrity to think about the consequences of what may happen if I pass that information on.

The saying goes, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.’ I think bollocks to that.

Words DO hurt. Words DO damage. Think before you speak. Think before you write. Think before you gossip. Think about people’s feelings. Think about what could be going on behind closed doors, in their lives, that you know nothing about.

We are all human. We all have the right to privacy. Including celebrities.


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