People who say this have obviously never ‘tried’ to get pregnant.
They have not had so much sex that they are actually bored with it.
They have not got sore from all the reluctant sex they are having.
They have not begged or bargained with their husbands or partners just so they can have their sperm.
They have not made secret sex schedules so they know when is the best time to start sweetening up their other halves in order to get them to shag them.
They have not had to suffer arguments and tears.
They have not had to endure heartbreak and failure.
They have not had to weather the endless pregnancy announcements in the middle of their period.
They have not had to battle jack shit.
They have not got a fucking clue about all this.
So you tell me, what listed above there, is ‘fun’?
After a month you are still excited.
After 2 months you are still optimistic.
3-6 months you’re still enjoying the sex but starting to get nervous.
6-9 months you are worried and losing the fun.
9-12 months you are bored and impatient.
12+ months you are pessimistic, jaded, and going through the motions.
I have a comparison to make (don’t worry, it’s not going to be cancer FFS! See previous post for the irony of that…)
Remember when you were learning to drive? You were excited, and everybody you knew was learning to drive too. You did all the prep and were ready to take your test. Your friend passed their test first, and you were excited for them. You went out with them in their new car and you couldn’t wait until it was your turn. You kept having your lessons and took the plunge and booked your first test.
But you picked yourself up, kept on having those lessons, and kept plugging away. In the meantime, someone else you knew passed their test. Again, you were excited for them, and you were SURE that you would be next to pass.
You failed again.
Now tensions were beginning to run high with your driving instructor. You might have had an argument. You tried hard to do everything right. You felt fucking demoralised when your efforts came to nothing. But still, you kept trying.
You booked your next test for the following month. You wished you could fast forward time to be at testing time quicker. You got impatient. Whilst you were waiting for that test, you kept up with your lessons, felt sure that you would DEFINITELY pass this time.
Then someone else had 6 lessons and passed their test first time. The shit. How could they be that lucky?
You spent loads on multiple tests, did your twice weekly lessons. You turned up on time. You kept your car roadworthy. The excitement wore off pretty quick. You just wanted to be able to fucking drive like everyone else could! You had your first car all picked for once you passed your test. You had your first solo drive destination chosen. You were ready. More than ready.
But it still wasn’t your time. Who knew when it would be your time?
Now tell me, does any of that sound fun?
Or tedious? Hard work? Expensive? Frustrating? Demoralising? All of the above?
THAT’S what trying to get pregnant is like.
It took me 7 months and 3 tests to pass my driving test. It felt like forever, whilst everybody else I knew were passing their tests before me. I knew it would happen eventually. And in February 2004 it finally did. I was ecstatic. The patience was worth it. And I think I’m a better driver because I DIDN’T pass first time. Now, it doesn’t matter to me how long it took me to pass. The fact that I can drive and have been doing so for 13 years is all that matters. How I got to this point is irrelevant.
What matters is that I didn’t give up.
So trying to make a baby isn’t fun. It’s a test. It’s a test of patience, strength and faith. It’s character building. It tests the solidity of your marriage. It’s a marathon. It’s a journey. And it’s shit. Utter shit.
But it will all be worth it in the end.