What I like about New Year is that it gives you a good excuse to draw a line under the past and start afresh. Holding onto past resentment and disappointment doesn’t help you emotionally. But it is important to reflect on the past 12 months in order to move on from it.
I’ve learned several things since January 2016.
1. I am not in control of what happens. As frustrating as this is for someone like me, who obsessively likes to control everything in my life, I have to accept this. My mum told me last year that this would be my greatest test of patience and she wasn’t wrong.
2. It will all work out in the end. Whenever I’ve looked back on other things in my life where they haven’t worked out to the timescale I’ve wanted, I can see that actually, the outcome that DID happen was the best one for me. I’m positive that when we do get pregnant, it will be the right time in our lives for US.
3. Comparing yourself to other people is pointless. Their journey is theirs and my journey is mine. End of.
4. A scan photo doesn’t tell the whole story behind it. Where I once felt bitter about other people announcing their pregnancies on social media, I now realise that many of those women have struggled to get pregnant themselves and may have experienced a loss too. Be kind, for you don’t know what their story is.
5. Getting pregnant, and staying pregnant, is fucking hard.
My only resolution to myself for 2017 is to live in the present, not in the hurtful past, or the unknown future.
Today marks a fresh start.