Dear Jeremy Kyle guests…

An upside (or downside in the case of this TV show) to being off work sick is having the opportunity to watch daytime TV.

For those living outside of the UK, The Jeremy Kyle Show is the British equivalent of Jerry Springer. Except our host is arrogant, rude, egotistical, obstinate and obnoxious. He goads and provokes people to be antagonistic and confrontational. He is the ringleader to the freak show. He courts it. He lights the match to start the fire. He loads the gun and waits for it to fire. I hate him, but it is compelling viewing.

There is only one thing about him that I am actually in agreement with. His opinion on those people who shag about and don’t know the paternity of their children, or those who neglect and abandon their kids or those that pop them out more often than their morning shit.

He says “there are people out there, DESPERATE, for their own children. They would give both arms for the opportunity to be parents. And then look at you.”

This comment never really resonated with me until this year. I would previously have scoffed and sagely nodded and thought no more of it. Yesterday, laid in bed, I watched an episode and felt my blood boil. This woman had a young baby (not her first) who had NO IDEA who the father of her baby was. The fact she got one man to shag her was astonishing enough but to have 2 other contenders was mind-boggling. She barely had any teeth for a start.

HOW does a woman find herself in the situation of making a baby, a blessing in itself, and NOT KNOW who fathered it? To not care for the consequences is bad enough, but to then play God with the child’s life (I hate that cliche but it’s true) and use the child as a pawn because you want to get back with Bloke A but Bloke B has been raising the kid as his own and has his name on the birth certificate when actually the “all-impoartant DNA result” reveals that Bloke C is, in fact, the father…

There are too many offensive things I could say about how I feel about these people.

It annoys me that Jeremy Kyle, bound by the restrictions of appropriate language for daytime TV says “why don’t you put something on the end of it?” When actually, what we really wish he would say is…

“For FUCK’S SAKE using a sodding condom, go on the pill and take it WITHOUT FAIL, get the contraceptive implant, hell, get your fucking tubes tied, ANYTHING to stop you popping out innocent babies being born to parents who don’t give two shits about it, or appreciate the miracle that they have been blessed with!”

I really need to stop watching this show.

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