When the husband’s away…

…the wife shall sleep in until 10am, indulge in a long lazy bath, not shave her legs or fanny, keep the bra off, go commando, stay in her jim jams all day, be make up free, eat crap and watch trashy TV.

To be fair, when I told Dave of my weekend plans last night before he left this morning for a night out in another city with the lads for a mate’s birthday, he pointed out that’s what I normally do anyway.

Cheeky bastard has a point.

Except tonight darling, whilst I am star fishing in a king sized bed all to myself, you shall be stumbling back to a shitty Travelodge with a dirty kebab. You’ll be horny as hell (as you always are when you’re drunk) and instead of my V-hole at your disposal, you’ll be sharing a bed with another bloke and his hairy A-hole.

Don’t hurry home tomorrow!

One thought on “When the husband’s away…

  1. Hahaha, Dave sounds amazing!
    To be fair if I’m not planning on going anywhere on a weekend I don’t bother with bras either. And hey… if it’s fertile time at least it’s easier to get out of PJs than actual clothes (especially layers of winter clothes!)

    Liked by 1 person

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