Stupid self-imposed deadlines

I do this weird thing where I put deadlines on getting pregnant. Not enforced or anything, and it’s not like I have a calendar with dates marked out saying on them “MUST BE PREGNANT BY THEN!” I’m not an idiot.

No, these deadlines are in my head. And nobody put them there but me.

First one was Christmas. Last December Dave and I actively started trying to conceive and in our naive enthusiasm we actually believed we would have a baby by Christmas 2016. Or at least be pregnant. Well, nada. No bun in this oven. We came close in March, but sadly that hope and excitement lasted all of 36 hours.

Another one was March 2017. Because that’s when I’ll be 31. In my head, being a first time mum at 30 sounds better than 31, because 31 just feels OLD. Stupid, irrational, blah blah blah, I know. But it’s how I feel. Hell, my mum was considered ‘old’ as a first time mum at 28 back in 1980. But that deadline will also pass with no baby. The most I can hope for at that point is a 12 week bump.

The most ridiculous deadline I set myself is my face wipe stash. I buy them on offer in packs of 3 which is basically 3 months’ worth. So I tell myself by the time I have to buy anymore of these I’ll be pregnant. Well I’ve repeated that charade now 3 times, so go figure.

But the most sobering deadline dawned on me this morning. I was thinking about the election for a new US president and I thought back to 2012 when Obama got re-elected for his second term. I remember thinking “the next time America gets a new president I’ll be married with a baby.” Well I was engaged at the time so the marriage bit was a certainty but I thought I’ve GOT to have had a child by 2016, surely?!

Well, let’s look at the reality here. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and there’ll probably be an arrogant, orange, tax-evading, sexually assaulting, racist, homophobic, bigoted clown as president of the United States… AND I’M STILL NOT FUCKING PREGNANT.

But if that twat can achieve his dream (God help us) then maybe there’s hope for me yet?


10 thoughts on “Stupid self-imposed deadlines

  1. I am currently doing the opposite… I should REALLY stop trying for the next 2 cycles so my due date doesn’t clash with my sister’s wedding. Because obviously her happiness is more important than mine (plus nobody knows we’re trying). I am not going to stop though… so selfish.

    I always wanted to be a young mother and I’m 33 now! This month is my last chance to have a baby before I turn 34, and I know it won’t work because my issues aren’t fixed yet. But we will both achieve our dream someday!

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  2. What really helped me was downloading a fertility app. I entered in the start and end dates of my period and it calculated when I was ovulating. Not sure if it was just chance but a month after I started using the app and making sure my husband and I…You know…on my ovulation days I fell pregnant! I think it was called Period Diary. Good luck! I also did the same deadline thing with my first child. It can drive you crazy 🙈

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    1. I don’t know about the author of this blog, but I already have an app. I take my temperature every single morning and use ovulation predictor kits. My timing has been spot on every single month for over a year. I now have a referral to a fertility specialist. So no, it’s not as simple as just having sex “on my ovulation days”.

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      1. I don’t want you to feel offended SAHM and I don’t mean to disrespect you (and I’m sure Bev didn’t either) – I realise your comment was intended to be helpful and you were well-meaning with your advice. But if you read through my previous blog posts you will see that I’ve been TTC for nearly a year, using a million apps, temping for around 300 days non-stop, have sex during my fertile window and still not pregnant. I realise that worked for you after one month, and that’s great for you – sincerely. But for the majority of women, we are not that fortunate. It doesn’t even come down to timing or what we do at the end of the day, but pure luck. Some of us have good luck, and some of us have bad luck. I thank you for your wishes of good luck and I hope it does find its way to me 😊

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      2. Sorry if my comment sounded insensitive. I had not read your previous blog posts. I should also mention that it was only after 6m of trying that I fell pregnant. But all the best. I really hope things work out and you get your bundle of joy. 🙂

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